So it's been a really long time but I want to start blogging again. Honestly I was scared to write about running because it seemed any time I got excited about or starting planning races and whatnot, the knee decided to act up again.
But it's time to face things and grow some courage, also I'm going to put this out there and hope that having some support will force me to stay true to my goals.
So what's been going on? The real story this time?
Some of you already know that I've struggled with an eating disorder in the past. Running really helped me overcome this. However, somewhere around July I started to get quite fatigued. I guess I thought eating more would give me more energy and I began to overeat. I figured there was no way I'd gain weight running as much as I was. Unfortunately, I gained 6 pounds.
That may not seem like the end of the world to a lot of you but to me it was devastating. I immediately cut down my intake... it wasn't long before the restricted calorie intake started affecting my running. I could barely finish 6 milers, and I began to struggle during my long runs. My weight dropped, along with muscle mass that I'm sure I needed to support my running. A month later, I got injured on my 18 miler.(see previous post on that)
I saw doctors and physical therapists who all told me my injury was minor and that I'd be back running within 3 weeks. 3 weeks later, nothing had improved. They didn't know why but I did. Once I stopped running I stopped eating. I didn't see a point. My physical therapist explained to me that the goal was to build supporting muscles in my legs. It felt pointless, I was pretty sure my body wasn't going to build muscle since it needed the few calories to keep me alive :-/
I went to a nutritionist and let her know what was going on. We were able to stop the weight loss. I still wasn't ready to gain anything back. Maintaining my weight seemed to be enough though to make the physical therapy work and I started running again.
I'm back "kinda" where I was at the beginning of my marathon training (minus 7 pounds). I'm running 5/6mi two times a week and have a 10+ run on the weekend. Knee is achey the first 2 miles but always calms down. I still refuse to gain any weight (regardless of WHAT the pounds consist of...) and because of that my nutritionist is still telling me that I'm still at high risk for injury. :-/
I'm feeling stuck. I'm happy with the amount I'm running but would really like to run a marathon. I realize exercise of that intensity requires appropriate nutrition but I'm too focused on the number to let myself eat enough :(. So instead I'm just sitting here at 20ish miles a week feeling depressed. It all comes down to choices.
So I guess I'm writing this post to first be honest with everyone (including myself) about what is really going on with my running. And to put some concrete goals in writing so I have somewhere to keep track of my progress toward them. Any and all comments/support/whatever is welcome.
-Don't add extra runs during the week JUST to burn extra calories.
-Run a 10k this Thursday and LISTEN to my body (this'll be my first race since my injury). If the knee acts up, lighten up the pace. Set Garmin to only show distance, not time/pace.
-Run the OUC Half marathon in 2 weeks, again LISTEN to my body and try to be happy that it is able to run 13.1 miles. That in and of itself should provide satisfaction. Set Garmin to only show distance, not time/pace.
-Keep up with PT exercises at home 2x/week
-Stretch at least before/after every run
-Don't cross train. I need to learn to be okay with eating without exercising every day.
So if you're still reading this, thank you for your support. I'm going to go catch up on some blogs now (I have THOUSANDS of entries in my google reader! lol)