So I'm hungover (sorry dad if you're reading this), cranky, tired, and really groggy. I got in at 5am last night and slept in til 1pm so it was a nice 87 degrees and humid outside when i finally rolled out of bed. I considered eating a real breakfast and running tonight at the gym since I didn't eat much last night but then quickly realized I really didn't want to run today and if I didn't go at that moment I'd probably just blow it off. So I grabbed and english muffin and out the door I went.
I got on the treadmill and walked 5 minutes and then started jogging. This was my thought process the first 10 minutes... "Oh wow.... oh wow this sucks.... it's okay it's the first mile it always sucks the first mile.... it'll get better."
10-20 minutes looked like this:
"wowwwww this sucks. I'm sooo tired.... I feel dizzy. This sucks... maybe I should stop after 3 miles...."
and then at THAT point I remembered that someone on a different blog posted that when you want to quit you should tell yourself to just go until the next mile marker (or whatever increment) and THEN decide whether or not you should quit... I guess once you get that extra distance you'll want to go another increment.
Anyhow... this was my mind's response to THAT thought; "what do you mean 'reconsider what you feel like at 3 miles' it doesn't freaking [not the word I used] matter what you feel like at 3 miles... you're gonna finish this damn run cause it's your own fault for being an idiot last night when you knew you had to run this morning so suck it up big girl and don't even think about quitting cause it aint an option unless you faceplant on the treadmill from exhaustion... THEN you can quit"
I almost started crying on the treadmill. I hurt MY OWN feelings. Seriously. I've never been that mean to myself before. I'm sure it's just because I felt so sucky but seriously who IS that mean girl in there? Ever since I started running it's made me very loving and respectful to myself. I'm so proud of everything I've accomplished I can't believe I'd be that uncompassionate when talking to me...
Long story short I finished my run, felt like crap. Still feel like crap. Dizzy, nauseous, and going back to bed now.
5 miles - 54:40 total time - 10:56pace.
(the good news here is that it was relatively pain free :D)